I woke up feeling elevated levels of bodily anxiety. No human engagement yet but I did speak to my roommate for a couple hours last night . He believes I need it a sizable disruptor to break out of patterns , and I need several of them probably I feel caught up in a lot…
Day three
I need to do more things, and find the balance between that , time, and money. Maybe it involves volunteering. Getting the dogs out for walks in nature? New hobbies, but what? A return to photography or light painting? Writing? Psychonaut stuff? Life needs to have some spice, or it is too plain. Some days…
Thoughts from the next day
I need a lot more time by myself. A lot more time. I need three or four nights a week with no obligations, and no mandated conversations, from the end of work until bed, unless I choose to step into such. That’s awkward if I am living with a partner. I’m finding it quite healing…
Wake Up
My life joy is gone. Like, no trace. My guard is always up. I’m having trouble connecting with other people . The dumb joy of existence that I see random people experiencing at a karaoke bar in a mountain town, I can’t feel it What does it mean to live? What am I even doing?…