I woke up feeling elevated levels of bodily anxiety. No human engagement yet but I did speak to my roommate for a couple hours last night . He believes I need it a sizable disruptor to break out of patterns , and I need several of them probably
I feel caught up in a lot of existential thought. I don’t feel like I have anybody to talk to about that. But I also don’t really feel like talking about it makes a lot of difference . Cool, all of life that we know it in the universe thus far lives in a 1-mile tall layer surrounding a piece of rock floating through space.. What good does talking about it do? My god Becky life exists! As I Ponder these things I don’t come to many conclusions other than that there is N and thereal meaning, and that the best way to have the best and meaningful life is to have a life that is best and meaningful by your own standards. That isn’t a commentary on altruism or selfishness , but maybe just the truth.
I might talk to my sisters about the possibility of going up to visit them, taking a more prolonged time away ; at least a couple weeks. Maybe a month? Gas prices are going up so the timing is. Neither is not healing though.
cuddling for me is more than sitting next to each other, distracting our minds by watching something else, maybe a small amount of contact. For me it’s a time to disconnect from everything else and share some warmth and touch and love with my person, a celebrated safe space